Hey, aces! Help me with a little poll?

August 18, 2011 at 1:28 PM (Asexuality, Haters) (, , )

It seems the haters are out in force again. (By the way, go secret maker!) Now, while I will probably never get tired of complaining about the prejudice, double standards, and possibly willful ignorance of certain LBGT sexual people, I know most of you are probably sick to death of this issue. Still, if you could just bear with me a little longer…?

See, I’m curious. The antagonistic sorts tend to regard homophobia and transphobia (they almost never seem to mention biphobia, for reasons I’m sure are totally innocent…) as very serious problems, while, for lack of a better term, acephobia is seen as a minor irritation. Now, as you undoubtedly have guessed, I have my own theories about this – but I don’t think anyone’s actually done any sort of widescale polling on the matter. I’d rather have a nice, shiny, real scientific study to read, but that doesn’t exist, so you get me and my crappy poll.

The main poll is at AVEN: http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/64742-hey-homobipan-trans-genderqueer-agender-aces-etc/

If you don’t have an AVEN account or don’t like using AVEN, and still want to answer, you can answer in the comments. Obviously, you’re on your honor not to answer at AVEN if you answer here. (Look, I told you it was a crappy poll, okay?)

Here’s the question: What’s caused you the most trouble, your romantic/gender identity, or your aceness?

Here are the options:

  • I’m heteroromantic or aromantic, and cis.
  • My romantic/gender identity has caused the most, and the aceness not much.
  • My romantic/gender identity has caused the most, but the aceness has also caused some.
  • Equal: they’ve both been unbothersome.
  • Equal: they’ve both caused roughly the same amount.
  • My aceness has caused the most, and my romantic/gender identity not much.
  • My aceness has caused the most, but my romantic/gender identity has also caused some.
  • By “trouble,” I mean any sort of trouble besides simple confusion over what you are. I know a lot of us are kind of baffled by our romantic orientations or gender identities, but unless it causes you distress, it’s not what I’m asking about here. “I can’t tell what my romantic orientation is” isn’t what I’m asking about; “I think I might be homoromantic and that scares me” is. I’m curious about are things like other people not accepting you, you not accepting yourself, depression or anxiety over what you are, relationship troubles, erasure, general societal attitudes towards your identity, etc.

    Who can answer:

  • Anyone on the ace spectrum who is or thinks they probably are homo-, bi-, or pan- romantic.
  • Anyone on the ace spectrum who is or thinks they probably are trans*, genderqueer, agender, bigender, etc.
  • Anyone who, at some point, identified as or thought they probably were on the ace spectrum and, at some point, identified as or thought they probably were homo/bi/panromantic or trans*/genderqueer/agender, etc.
  • Anyone on the ace spectrum who’s had a same-gender romantic relationship, or something that looked like it from the outside.
  • I’m trying to get people who’ve been in a position to experience both acephobia and homophobia, transphobia, or biphobia. I’m not trying to play Oppression Olympics, but I am curious if LGBT aces tend to find that acephobia is small potatoes for them compared to the rest.

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    A New Low

    June 18, 2011 at 12:48 AM (Asexuality, Haters) (, , )

    For both certain individuals in this debate, and this blog (which tries to stay classy and intellectual), but I can’t resist. I’m only human; forgive me. Besides, you should all know what we’re up against, right?

    This post is a response to Christina of polisci-prelaw, who is asexual and formerly heteroromantic, asking yet again to not be called straight. Here is an excerpt:

    You do know that queer people created the term “straight,” right? When the general consensus is that hetero attraction makes you straight (and I guarantee you that society at large doesn’t give a shit who you’re fucking and if you’re fucking them and with what frequency you’re fucking them as long as your public performance is socially palatable—-in this case, that you are involved or would strictly consider becoming involved with a man) you do not have the right to contest that as a straight woman.

    That’s right! Not only do LGB sexuals have sole ownership over the term queer, they also own “straight.” While I’m sure many of you could write essays on the many problems in that quoted paragraph alone, let me save you the trouble and summarize the inevitable response you’d get:

    Sit down, shut up, and do what we say.

    There. I saved you thousands of words of collective posts.

    No, no. No need to thank me.

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